If Monkeys had a dylan-esque songwriting style…

Right. to follow will be words 4,5 and 6 of my manifesto. follwed by part two of the stangely puce-tinged story that is the most talked about serial since Graeme Kellogg Snr decided his company should change his ‘pops’ from the colombian-cocaine derived (‘coca’) to a more family oriented chocolate based recipe (‘coco’).

In the meantime however i will provide a discussion topic for you all.

Has the age of songwriting ended? has our storytelling been reduced to fragmented narratives and hyperbolated drinking stories punctuated by photographic ‘picture phone’ evidence?
 
 
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My reasons for raising this issue are threefold:
1) Bob Dylan has been covered extensively by the media recently, due to Martin Scorses’s new biodoc, and it has bought people’s takes on dylan to the fore.
2) I know many people who are divided on this very subject, some who despise the man and have even gone as far as implying his involvement in a covered up paedophilia scandal (This story, and if the person in question is reading this take note, is utter conjecture and just highlighted to me the ignorance of the person in question.). there are also those who worship him like a god, but unfortunately this means they are blind to his failings.
3) Dylan is often cited as being the ‘worlds greatest story teller’.
Whilst these are my reasons, there was also a catalytic moment that spurred my action, i read something in an advert for a new cd release and it angered me so much i had to go and pummel my ‘rage-pony’.
And for all of you that don’t know, Katie Melua is a talentless (well she can sing to a moderate degree, which puts her on a par with failed x-factor contestants, kareoke fans and several types of chaffinch, WHICH apparently is enough for a record deal nowadays), brain dead, wannabe hippychick, who makes up for her lack of talent, intelligence, musical knowledge, common sense by making middle of the road lounge numbers (ref: see Cullum Jamie/Legend, John/David, Craig, C*nt, useless) which are often covers.
and for all of those who dont believe me go to: www.katiemelua.com. all the proof is in the proverbial pudding.
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Here is what i read:
“There are nine million bicycles in Beijing,
Thats a fact. Its a thing we cant deny,
Like the fact that i will love you till i die”
(Beautiful isnt it…?)
[underneath this astoundingly witless quote is a lovely photo of katie looking vacuously (i wonder how she pulled that off???!!!!!) into space]
Katie Melua_Nine million bicycles (yes that is the name of the song)
The new single out today
Now shall i start or would you like to…..?
Is that not the most utterly uninventive, contrived, ignorant and emotionless bit of writing you have ever heard or am i being unfair?
The thought that when she “wrote” it (the sarcastic speech marks are necessary here to indicate that she was probably sat at a table with five accomplished song-writers all telling her how wonderful and talented and fresh she is) she probably thought that she was being really profound and was probably told by the sycophants around her how clever it was, makes me kind of sick. that this girl has had her insecurities and ego pampered to to such a degree.
I hope someone working for Dramatico records (for that is the hopeless bunch of exec’s that have signed her) reads this and takes note. Katie Melua is a talentless, brain dead shill that has no idea of how utterly mundane she is because of all of the leeches and bottom-feeders she is surrounded with. She is detrimental to ALL music because she is so unaware of how much of an unmitigated c*nt she is.
She is also an indication that we now live in an age where any talentless hippy wannabe that has picked up a guitar in student digs somewhere and has slaughtered a Jeff Buckley song has a chance to have a fully blown music career (James Blunt, Damian rice etc take note) .
But i’m sure Katie’s a nice person…..
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