If Monkeys had tripods for hands…..


Ok so this is an open dialogue….are we all so vain? and incapable of change? Ok so being scared is the human condition….it is what forms us and moulds us. So doesn’t it scare you that everything you do has been done before? that every rebellion, and everything you do that makes you different is in fact a regurgitation of a constant cycle that will never end, and that has happened before? If you define yourself by what you are not you automatically become the opposite which is AS predictable as doing what you’re supposed to? If your father was a butcher you might become a vegetarian, but your child might grow up and become a butcher because his father never let him kill an animal? A 15 yr old with a punk haircut has no comprehension that his haircut is no longer a rebellion or of an anti-establishment stance but merely a confirmation of his natural awkwardness and levels of angst and fear. He conforms to human nature.

So what do we do? nothing and drift into dust? do we sit around and watch bullseye until the rapture? do we make sculptures of famious Ethiopian politicians with discarded tongue depressors?

Or do we rage against the forward onslaught of time…..and how do we do that? do we go backwards? or do we venture onwards into the unkown? do we create, mystify, envision, destroy and smash and invent and innovate? or does that merely make it all go a bit quicker? do we sit in a darkened room slowing time with our mind by trying to comprehend the dimensions of time and space?

well its a quandary i tell you……..how do we solve it?

i Hate to break it you all…..but we don’t we do what has always been done…..we exist.

Its not futile….but it is pointless. we do nothing AND everything. There is no afterlife, no God, no ultimate religion…no rapture or judgement day which provides us with meaning (I mean really….come on….how would an entity like God be able to justify whether a graphic designer from Kent with two kids and a couple of Airedales goes to a life everlasting, when a pickpocket from myanmar doesn’t?)

We seek meaning purely to define our undefineability…sounds like a cop out i know…but what did you expect?

We are a random occurence, some particles mixed with an electrical charge that created what we call ‘life’ a species evolved into a billion billion species and we ended up popluating a ‘planet’ in a ‘solar system’. We happened. that is our history, and our legacy. there aren’t going to be alien races finding remnants of our civilisation and thinking: “So who were these guys?”.

This is it. The point of living is purely that. To live. If you woke up next to a brand new video camera, how long would it be before you stopped wondering where it came from and just used it? instead of wondering why we are here lets BE here for a while.

If you look up at the stars tonight don’t feel small……..feel special.

I not saying this as for any other reason than it needed to be said. I am NOT saying go out there and life your life to the fullest, go and bungee jump, go glacier-walking, swim with dolphins ask that cute girl out that you fancy, cos life’s too short. Those things are reserved for the terminally ill and Australians.

I haven’t lived my life perfectly but i know i’m not stupid enough to worry about what a celebrity is wearing, or whether my council tax is too high (it is…but what are YOU gonna do about it? Vote?! HA!! you might as well stick your cock in a george foreman grill and watch your man fat drip slowly into a tray, it’d make as much difference).

be as different as you want, but make sure you know that by being different YOU ARE BEING EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE.

Don’t spend your life thinking that if i don’t do all these things, that in my eyes, make people wankers, i won’t be a wanker myself. Because all this will do is make you speak twice as loud as everyone else on trains and buses and say things like “hey i’m just having fun…deal with it”. If you do this your name is probably Josh or Lawrence anyway.

So in conclusion i have no point. but it was a fun ride. Live life. eat shellfish. don’t dance naked cos you look like a prick.

And for the love of GOD (despite his non-existence for all you pedants out there) don’t go out and become a goth…… cos they’re the worst of all for the polarised reverse conformity/non-conformity paradoxicity that i’m talking about.

i am not special (well…in a way i am…but that just makes me good at sums) and i do not deserve life over anyone else. but fuck me why do so many people justify the fact that they act like cunts all the time?!

I punched a disabled girl in the face the other day (i had to go for the face…she was paralysed from the neck down…she wouldnt have learnt her lesson otherwise) and that still makes me less of a cunt than anyone called jemima or jeremy.

Right i hear sirens. i’m off. remember rage on people…oh no wait…don’t…….what was i saying again>>>>???????

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