If Monkeys had a legal system…..

Hello again firebreathers and Independent Media moguls! It has been a while since my last entry (oo-er)…….WAIT STOP STOP!

Can i start again?

Firstly i dont know any firebreathers and if i did i tell them to stop being such hippy lowlifes and get a real job. Ok so you’re extremely dextrous and have a love of fire, where is that going to get you really? a circus? a fire expert on “Backdraft 3: The Face Burning”?

And as for indie media moguls, they can suck my gingerbreads, ‘independent’ just means they get to keep all the money they thrape out of other people wallets to themselves.

They sicken me.

Anyway it has been a while, September i think, and a lot has happened:

  • Gary Glitter continues to make royalties off his previous recordings (did you know he gets 38 p every time someone says ‘HEY’) despite his constant Kiddy fumbles. a tip for you gary, you can’t terrorise a child into staying quiet if you dont speak their language, but they can speak to the local police
  • Another celebrity big brother has come and gone, and this time there was some retribution and redemption on offer, Fat-lipped bender Pete Burns made the world realise that discounting ‘flock-of-seagulls’ haircuts and kicker boots, the eighties could do a lot worse things to people. And our eternal favourite Michael ‘Bum-murder’ Barrymore made us see his insecurities up close. and in my eyes it changed the way i think about him. (Now i DEFINITELY think he bummed a guy to death with a marrow and threw him in a pool)
  • The war in Iraq rages on, but of course its not a war its an “occupation”.

To Quote Tony Blair in 2003:

“we have to act pre-emptively to prevent a bloodbath…..”

Well done Tony, we avoided a bloodbath by going in and killing 50,000 civilians. genius.

I await his new peace protocols on “how to slaughter iranian 5 year olds and get a medal for it”.